Never catch a falling knife!!

Common sense...it's a funny thing. Using the word "common" indicates that it's readily available so most of us "have it". Though you have to wonder sometimes if we all do?? Now c'mon admit we've all done some....stupid things that "common sense" most likely said "DON'T DO THAT!" and we ignored it to our embarrassing peril and our friends great amusement.

And so here I will explain some of the things "common sense" should (take note of that word SHOULD) stop in the kitchen. So first and foremost DO NOT try to catch a falling knife!! Now I know what your thinking "No sh*t Sherlock!! Duhhh" but let me paint you a picture - Your a young Commis Chef and you've scored your first job in the best restaurant in town. You've gone out and bought a fresh Chef coat and a new knife,top of the range model,sharp and shiny to impress the new Head Chef. You've heard he's a hard ass but your ready to impress him. Its your first night in the kitchen and it's busy. Your not doing the greatest job holding down your section,the orders are coming thick n fast and your swamped, the Head Chef yells another order at you but you don't catch it so you spin around to ask the Head Chef to repeat the order and at the same time you knock your nice new shiny SHARP knife off your bench,you see it start to fall as the Head Chef yells at you again.....What do you do???

I can tell you what you do.....You catch that f*cking knife no matter what because you want to impress that Asshole Head Chef and you'll bleed doing it! I know.....I've been there!! And trust me its hurts.

The kitchen is a dangerous place at the best of time but chuck in some people that probably didn't get much sleep last night ( back to back shifts,they suck!! finish at 1am back at work 7am) or are just having a bad day and it becomes a "interesting" place to be.

Deep fryers are a classic example of a area you should only approach fully aware. Now most restaurants have some sort of DFB (deep fried bullsh*t) on the menu so they'll have a deep fryer in the kitchen and deep fryers like everything else need to be cleaned and this generally means draining 180degree oil out of the fryer...you can see it coming can't ya. Hot oil = trouble. Take for example a Chef I knew who at the end of a busy night switched off the deep fryer then went outside for a smoke while the oil cooled. Upon finishing his smoke he re-entered the kitchen and continued his conversation with the waitress as he drained the hot oil into a 20ltre PLASTIC bucket. One guess what happened to the bucket after about a minute....needless to say his cleanup that night was little longer than usually. Or a apprentice Chef who successfully drained the deep fryer,to drain the deep fryer there is a large tap at the bottom of the fryer to allow the oil etc to be readily drained, and cleaned it well. The problem "appeared" literally when he went to refill it with fresh oil! Any guesses?? Yup,he forgot to close the drain tap. Hey Presto! 20ltres of fresh canola oil all over the kitchen floor!!

The kitchen,as you would expect,is a hot place. The ovens are on full blast,deep fryer is cranked and all stove tops are fired up. So you'd think this next problem would be obvious but it's always the new guys(kitchen hands!) that forget to exercise some common sense. If you've watched a professional kitchen in action you'll see that the chefs working the hot sections ALWAYS have a cloth in their hands when grabbing pans/trays etc. So it never ceases amaze me when I ask for the pans to be cleared and washed that I hear a "YELP" usually followed by a loud "CLANG" as the pan hits the floor and I spin around to see the kitchen hand blowing on their now badly burnt hand. YOUR IN A F**KING HOT KITCHEN YOU MORON!! How could you NOT know it was going to be HOT! I mean SERIOUSLY!! And it happens more than you'd think and yes I even warn them but no,nope you might as well be saying "The waitress has big tits" at least then they'd listen!!

Would you like some more examples of common sense not at work?? How about the Chef with the blunt knife cutting hard pumpkins or using a cellphone on the kitchen floor during service (it ended up in 10ltres of tomato soup) or the customer with "special" dietary requirements that didn't ring ahead or the customer that wants to design their own menu on a busy night...wait a second...

That's a whole other blog update!!!